Resources

Therapy - Love, Relationships, Sex, Self-Esteem

The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work.

Real, Terrence - Ballantine Books, 2008
This is an excellent practical guide that teaches couples to create emotional intimacy and develop tools for thoughtful and effective communication.

Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic + the Domestic.

Perel, Esther - HarperCollins, 2006
Esther Perel's timeless bestseller on the delicate balance of domesticity and desire.

State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity

Perel, Esther - HarperCollins, 2017
Esther Perel's second book on the complex nature and circumstances of affairs.

The Course of Love

Botton, Alain De - Simon & Schuster, 2016
A fiction-based account of the development of love through the necessary disappointment, mourning, and acceptance.

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

Brown, C. Brene - Hazelden, 2010
Renown shame expert Brene Brown talks about the surprising beauty of shame and the tremendous power of vulnerability to create connections and intimacy.

Video: Alain de Botton on love.

A brilliant and witty talk on the romanticism of love (and why we should give up on that idea). "What romanticism tells us is that if you really love someone and they love you, you shouldn't use too many words. You will feel an intuitive understanding with someone... This is a disaster."

Video: Alain de Botton on why you will marry the wrong person.

A brilliant and witty talk on the beauty of picking a good-enough partner, willingness to interpret another's behavior, and attachment. "Love is a skill." "To love someone is to apply charity and the generosity of interpretation."

TED TALK: Brene Brown on listening to shame.

If you have experienced an ounce of shame, this talk is for you.
"If we're going to find our way back to each other, we have to understand and know empathy, because empathy's the antidote to shame. If you put shame in a Petri dish, it needs three things to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence and judgment. If you put the same amount in a Petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can't survive. The two most powerful words when we're in struggle: me too."

TED TALK: Brene Brown on the power of vulnerability.

If you have experienced an ounce of shame, this talk is for you.
"There was only one variable that separated the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging and the people who really struggle for it. And that was, the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they're worthy of love and belonging. That's it. They believe they're worthy. And to me, the hard part of the one thing that keeps us out of connection is our fear that we're not worthy of connection."

TED TALK: Esther Perel on the secret to desire in a long-term relationship.

Anyone who has ever been in a relationship should listen to this. "Because in some way one could say sex isn't something you do? Sex is a place you go. It's a space you enter inside yourself and with another, or others. So where do you go in sex? What parts of you do you connect to? What do you seek to express there? Is it a place for transcendence and spiritual union? Is it a place for naughtiness and is it a place to be safely aggressive? Is it a place where you can finally surrender and not have to take responsibility for everything? Is it a place where you can express your infantile wishes? What comes out there? It's a language. It isn't just a behavior. And it's the poetic of that language that I'm interested in, which is why I began to explore this concept of erotic intelligence. "

TED TALK: Esther Perel rethinking infidelity... a talk for anyone who has ever loved.

Anyone who has ever been in a relationship should listen to this. "As Marcel Proust said, it's our imagination that is responsible for love, not the other person." "So it's never been easier to cheat, and it's never been more difficult to keep a secret. And never has infidelity exacted such a psychological toll. When marriage was an economic enterprise, infidelity threatened our economic security. But now that marriage is a romantic arrangement, infidelity threatens our emotional security. Ironically, we used to turn to adultery -- that was the space where we sought pure love. But now that we seek love in marriage, adultery destroys it." "Now, there are three ways that I think infidelity hurts differently today. We have a romantic ideal in which we turn to one person to fulfill an endless list of needs: to be my greatest lover, my best friend, the best parent, my trusted confidant, my emotional companion, my intellectual equal. And I am it: I'm chosen, I'm unique, I'm indispensable, I'm irreplaceable, I'm the one. And infidelity tells me I'm not. It is the ultimate betrayal. Infidelity shatters the grand ambition of love. But if throughout history, infidelity has always been painful, today it is often traumatic, because it threatens our sense of self."

Financial Healing - Money, Finance, Behaviors

Your Money or Your Life: 9 Steps to Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Achieving Financial Independence

Robin, Vicki - Penguin Books, 2018
A new addition of one of the original books on integrating money and values and helping to "create a life, rather than just make a living."

The Heart of Money: a Couple's Guide to Creating True Financial Intimacy

Price, Deborah L - New World Library, 2012
A book on helping couples make sense of their money styles and have productive conversations about finances.

On My Own Two Feet: a Modern Girl's Guide to Personal Finance: Save and Invest Wisely, Achieve Financial Security, Own Your Finances, Own Your Life.

Thakor, Manisha, and Sharon Kedar - Adams Media, 2014
A book about the basics of money management, geared towards women.

Overcoming Underearning: a Five-Step Plan for a Richer Life

Stanny, Barbara - HarperCollins, 2007
An exlanation of what under-earning means (not what you think) and how to overcome the pattern.

Northrup, Kate. Money: a Love Story

Northrup, Kate - Hay House, 2013
A modern money book for millennials and creative entrepreneurs.

The Resilient Investor: A Plan for Your Life, Not Just Your Money

Brill, Hal, Kramer, Michael, Christopher, Peck, and Cummings, Jim - Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 2015
A book about investing and creating the life you want.

The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart about Money

Lieber, Ron - HarperCollins, 2016
A great book on parenting and money.

Money problems? Here’s how financial therapy might help

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Alicia Adamczyk, August 19, 2019