In therapy, we can find a home for many longings: the nagging sense that something is missing, the yearning to experience happiness, or the desire to escape the seemingly inescapable patterns that keep us stuck.
We cover up these longings with worries, distractions or addictions. Ironically, even when we crave to satisfy our needs, we also fear (and even sabotage) getting what we want: whether it’s success, love, intimacy, sobriety, or purpose.
Therapy is a place to explore these longings, to eliminate what stands in our way, and to honor what supports us.
Therapy is also a space to reconnect with our sense of self and to break destructive cycles in relationships. Our childhood experiences greatly affect how we end up functioning in the world. So we often grow up burying our true sense of self in feeling “never good enough,” perfectionism, self-doubt, shame, or needing accomplishments to prove our worth. Sometimes, our sense of self gets shattered by trauma, loss, or life transitions, and we struggle, alone and in pain. Making ourselves feel whole in a different way seems like an overwhelming undertaking if there is no one there to support us through the process.
In addition, unlike many other therapists steeped in this culture’s taboos about sex, I am comfortable with and welcome intimate conversations about sexuality, sex, pleasure, desire (or struggles with it), and other explorations related to this very private and vital area of our lives.
